a few reflections

Thank you so much for all of your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. They have helped me in more ways than I'm sure I even know.

St. Veronica's feast day was yesterday, and in her honor, I think we are going to name our little saint, Veronica.

I was frustrated talking to one particular person about this, and these were my thoughts following that conversation.
1. Just because our first two children are 17 months apart, and this baby would have been 17 months younger than Lucy, DOES NOT MAKE THIS A POSITIVE THING. I firmly believe that God will create something beautiful out of this suffering, but miscarriage in itself is never a positive thing.
2. I know that I am busy with the girls, and I know that what I do every day may seem nuts, but this is my life, and I was excited to add another little one to our family. I am not relieved in any way by what happened.
3. Yes, this baby would have required us to get a bigger car along with creating a few other expenses, but that is okay! This baby was a gift from God, and He always provides!
4. I realize that this baby probably had some chromosomal abnormality that caused her not to develop, and if she had made it into this world, life might have been difficult for her. I do find peace in the fact that she is up in heaven with the angels worshiping God in perfect happiness forever, BUT I am not being selfish for feeling grief and sadness. This baby was loved from day 1, and it is okay for me to be sad that I will never know this beautiful little soul here on earth.
5. It was suggested that I should be thankful for the beautiful children that I have and not be sad for something that I didn't get or don't have. Let me be very clear here, THIS WAS A LIFE! THIS BABY EXISTED IN MY WOMB even if it was just for a few days. THIS IS A SOUL just like you or me, and I now have three children. Two on earth and one in heaven.
6. Finally, I am in no way being dramatic or seeking attention by telling people about this situation. This is painful, and we appreciate everyone's prayers, and it is comforting to know that people are praying for us. Thank you, again, for all the kind thoughts and words.

p.s. I feel that I need to say that this person that I talked to yesterday was well meaning, but I got off the phone and cried rather than feeling peace. Thanks for listening to my frustration.

And to end on a positive note, Bill came home from work yesterday with beautiful pink roses. He wrapped me in a huge hug, and with our anniversary tomorrow, I am even more overcome with appreciation for the man God gave me. I am a lucky woman.

St. Monica, pray for us.
St. Gerard, pray for us.
St. Gianna, pray for us.
Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us

St. Veronica, pray for us.