bucket of beer

I'm not going to lie, this period of abstinence has been extremely challenging for us. It has caused more tension between Bill and me than I imagined it would, but it has also caused more growth than I ever imagined. We have been making an effort to do things together out of the house, and when we are home, we are attempting to play cards and games and occupy ourselves since the most difficult times are in the evening after the girls go to bed.
To be honest, while I recognize the growth that is occurring from this, it is still a burden at this point, and I was talking to a good friend of mine about this, and she told me that it shouldn't be a burden, that it should be a happy beautiful thing that you do as a couple. I agree that it is supposed to be that way, but that is so much easier said than done!
We have been married for three years, and the self control/discipline area of our sexuality has been out of practice for almost the entire three years! So the last six weeks have been extremely challenging! We have been arguing more and had our fair share of snippy moments... but thankfully they are always short lived, and I'm confident that God is using this to bring more balance into our marriage.
We started our relationship as friends for 4 years before it developed any type of romantic element, and so we have the necessary foundation, but since we've been married, we haven't really had a need to separate the romantic love and the friendship love. It has always been fluid and intertwined.
So for my birthday, Bill took the day off of work, and after spending the day together, we dropped the girls off to family overnight. Having the whole night to ourselves, we went out to a local pizza place and ordered a medium pizza and a bucket of beers.
We spent the next 2 and half hours eating, drinking, and having a wonderful conversation about everything but our kids and day to day business. We laughed and laughed and laughed... suddenly we stopped focusing on the restrictions that had been slowly overwhelming us and refocusing more on each other.
After we had finished our beers, we walked hand in hand to Starbucks, ordered coffee and talked some more! Then, when we were leaving, we were standing at the corner waiting to cross the street, and we passed a group of girls out for a bachelorette party. They stopped right behind us, and I turned around and asked the bride when the date was. It was in three weeks, and I congratulated her and said, "Married life is wonderful." Despite all the challenges, I meant every word, and I feel so blessed to be married to such a wonderful man.
My cycle has just been wonky and understandably so, but I am seeing a mucus pattern that makes me think my body might be figuring itself out! So perhaps we might only have to abstain for a maximum of 14 days rather than 20 or 25...
I am so thankful for the Creighton Model, and I know that God has been using this to create in me an even greater respect for His Church and the Catholic understanding of sexuality. It is so beautiful!
Thank you, God for the stress of abstinence. Thank you for all the times that I felt overwhelmed. Thank you for all the tears of frustration I shed after seeing two dry days followed by more peak type mucus on day 17 of abstinence... Thank you God for cultivating a spirit of abandonment within me. Thy will be done.