I have missed it dearly, and since the miscarriage/molar pregnancy last month, I have really noticed a change in myself. I have been more anxious, emotional, and overwhelmed with things that ordinarily wouldn't have phased me before. I have been furiously chasing my tail attempting to handle everything on my own, even though deep down I knew that I just needed to let myself rest in Christ.
Then, yesterday, my sister called me and asked if I had ever been to the adoration chapel at our parish. I told her yes, and I started talking about how wonderful it was, and suddenly I had this deep longing to go and just rest in the physical Presence of Christ.
My sister had never been before, but she has been expressing a desire to grow in her faith for a while. She has requested books to read, and she attended a conference with me not too long ago so I was very excited when she showed an interest in adoration! I told her that I could go that night after the girls went to bed. So off I went at 9:30 pm to meet my sister and Jesus armed with my spiritual reading and Magnificat.
We opened the door, and as I fell to my knees in genuflection, I felt the quiet and peace wash over me. We sat down, and as I knelt in prayer, I felt my eyes well up with tears of relief. I started reading the evening prayer in the Magnificat, and I came to this part:
"In the shadow of your wings I take refuge/till the storms of destruction pass by (Ps 57:2b)
Powerful carved cherubim spread their wings over the ark of the covenant, where God sat 'enthroned' in luminous cloud in the temple's inner chamber. In the psalms, the 'shadow of God's wings' came to mean the holy place where one could find safe refuge in the divine Presence."
I was struck with awe as I read these words. Here is a picture of the monstrance in the adoration chapel:

I have been struggling lately with taking time out of my evening to say my evening prayers, and I marveled at the sequence of events that brought me into the chapel last night to say my evening prayers in this specific place. God knew I needed Him, and He gathered me into His loving embrace. Thank you, Jesus, for helping me to respond to Your grace yesterday.
When we left the chapel, my sister said how much she enjoyed it, and she asked me if I wanted to set aside one night a week to go and pray there. I was so excited that she asked because the exact thought had crossed my mind! Praise God! I am so excited that she is responding to the Holy Spirit tugging at her heart. I pray that she will continue to deepen her spiritual life and understanding of our beautiful Catholic faith!
We are signed up for a weekly holy hour and sometimes I find I so there and sometimes it is really hard and I just want to give up and go home. But always I am reminded by just looking at that monstrance, that HE is there and understands my fears, my anxiety, my tiredness and is okay with all of that. I can just be. Thank you for this beautiful post and that is very exciting about your sister! God Bless!
ReplyDeleteWonderful post. Happy feast day and birthday tomorrow!
ReplyDeletePS. I'm not sure if I have commented before, but I am a new reader and I love your blog!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful chance for you to spend time with God and your sister, and at the same time encouraging each other! I know there is still hope that someday my sisters and I can share something so special!
ReplyDeleteI just got home from Adoration and had a similar experience!!! God IS. SO. GOOD!!!! Beautiful reflection- and what an incredible experience with your sister! Praise Him for His mercy!!!
ReplyDeleteYou aren't "lucky" to have a perpetual adoration chapel, you are BLESSED!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, ladies!
ReplyDeleteLiz, I agree! :) I often use the words blessed and lucky interchangeably, but you are so right. We are very blessed. :)
Oh, I NEED to go to adoration regularly. And I haven't been. I must do this, and do it soon.... Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny to have you mention adoration now. The baby and I dropped the kids off at school on Wed., and I was heading home when I suddenly felt this great desire to go to adoration. I turned the truck south and went straight over. Now the old folks were not too pleased to see the baby come in but, oh, it was sooooo lovely. I only stayed a few minutes (before anyone hissed at me...yes, I HAVE been hissed at in the chapel...still traumatized). I just loved offering up everything to him - including the baby. May we all serve you Lord! We adore you so!
ReplyDeleteI used to use lucky/blessed interchangeably until my pastor gave a very convincing homily on why we shouldn't use the term "lucky." The basic gist of what he said is that luck is for the devil. Since then I've made a conscious effort to say blessed instead of lucky :)
ReplyDeleteI took my students yesterday and was amazed to see 25 teenagers kneeling before Christ! They were so into it!!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy St. Monica feast day today:)
LOVE IT!!!! Love you! Happy Feast Day!!!!
ReplyDeleteHAPPY BIRTHDAY:):):) Hope you have enjoyed this special day!
ReplyDeleteAh this just made me want to run to Adoration! What a beautiful experience! And how awesome your sister wants to grow in her faith. I think God often uses siblings to spur each other on in our faith!
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