voluntary exhaustion

I am exhausted today... in fact, I am exhausted on most days, and the ridiculous part is that it is my own fault! I am notorious for staying up way too late, and by late I mean 1:30 or 2 am! Bill and I were spending time together last night watching trashy television like Cheaters (shameful, absolutely shameful, I know) and then we slightly upgraded to Khloe and Kourtney take Miami..., we had fun laughing about the people on the shows and gaining appreciation for our happy marriage. and then he fell asleep on the couch... so typical, and he is absolutely unwakeable, and after the first year of marriage, I quit trying to wake him up lest I be assaulted by a stream of profanity or flailing arms... one time I poured water on his head, so mature right? He was not happy... :) The thing is that he remembers absolutely nothing in the morning! He is always embarrassed and profusely apologizes for his subconscious actions, but sometimes we get a really good laugh out of it. One time I was waking him up, and I said, "Bill, I will help you up the stairs." He stirred and said, "I'm a big girl, I can do it myself!!".... AWESOME.
So it would have made sense for me to go to bed at this point, but instead, I sat there watching Kardashian drama and I started to get so tired that I just sat there absorbing the crap... We have DVR so I really could have hit record and just gone to bed, but instead I looked at the clock every 10 minutes or so and watched time creep forward thinking, "I am going to be so tired tomorrow. I just need to go to bed," and yet I still sat there until 2:30 am! Then, I finally turned it off, went upstairs, climbed into bed, did my Creighton chart, and fell asleep in half a second noticing that it was 2:57 as my eyes closed...
Then in my exhaustion of the morning, I always think, I am going to bed tonight at 11 pm! And it never happens! haha
One of the priests at our church gave a great homily once about personal sacrifice, and he was talking about how one of his guilty pleasures is staying up way too late, eating M&M's, and watching Law and Order reruns! haha And he talked about how it is such a pleasing sacrifice for God when we deny ourselves in a situation like this. I totally identified with this because going to bed early would be a great mortification for me. Now I just need to think about this when I am in the middle of a night owl moment. :)